Broke[n] Britain

Let’s just see if I’ve got this right:

Our constitution is a royal farce.

Our economy is in the toilet and our arrogant Chancellor won’t admit his strategies aren’t working.

Our PM is the Elmer Fudd of the EU.

Our government is fiddling the unemployment figures, while people are losing their jobs by the thousands.

The banks want to be bailed out again and we pay for their criminality.

High Street retailers are falling like megalithic dominoes.

The DWP wants to reclassify people who are unable to work as able to work but there aren’t jobs for them and they’re not actually fit to work.

The DWP wants people to work for free.

The DWP wants to take transportation away from a large number of disabled people.

Food banks are a growing necessity.

The NHS is being privatised.

Education is being privatised.

The probation service is being privatised.

The police are headed for blue flu over pay cuts.

Employment rights are being eroded.

The civil justice system is about to collapse under the weight of litigants in person.

Energy bills are rising.

Train fares are rising.

The RPI is rising.

Oh, and we’re being sold beef contaminated with horse meat (which probably wouldn’t have been detected in the UK due to…yes, of course: budget cuts). I honestly don’t know why we’re complaining when you consider the horse shit this Government expects us to eat.

Meanwhile, in other news, A&E departments across the country were overwhelmed today, shortly after David Cameron’s statement on the contaminated burgers: “This is a completely unacceptable state of affairs”. Fists met walls across the land as the nation realised that these words are in his vocabulary and that, rather than being a complete fuckwit, Cameron is actually ideologically committed to the aforementioned catalogue of disasters.

Feel free to tweet me to add to the list. There’s so much going wrong in Broken Britain it’s hard to keep up.

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